When You Find Yourself Lost

“In the universe, there are things that are known and things that are unknown and in between them, there are doors.” 

William Blake

Philosophically, I love the idea of liminal space. The in-between time. Not quite the ending, but certainly not the beginning. From the safety of the mind, I can look at liminality as a frontier of possibilities—something new on the horizon. And, yet, landing in the middle of it can be disorienting. There are no clear signposts on what direction to take and no markers by which to measure progress. Its hallmarks are uncertainty, ambiguity and more often than not, discomfort. Our American culture has no patience for this state of being and so we assume there is something wrong when we find ourselves standing on the threshold of some big ‘unknown.’

Understandably we don’t like ‘not knowing’; we long for clarity when faced with change or transition. And, like many things in life, although we may not have control of what happens along the journey, we can make choices about how we respond to it.

So where do we start?

1. Name it for what it is.
   There are times in life when we clearly know our purpose and work toward goals. These times can give us a false sense of control. But any attempt at control during times of liminality is useless. If you’re experiencing an overarching sense of being untethered, disoriented and uncertain with how to proceed, you may have found yourself in one of life’s transitions. While it may be uncomfortable, it is helpful to understand and accept the situation for what it is. No one else gets to minimize or define it for you.
2. Acknowledge and allow for your emotions.
   Times of uncertainty generally come riddled with anxiety and stress. Fear and doubt are also frequent companions during change. Examine how these feelings are showing up for you and how they are coming out in your actions. Have they become overwhelming? Are you starting to question your sense of self? Are you trying to ignore or outrun them? When we take the time to observe and stop resisting the feelings we don’t like, they tend to move through. 
3. Establish helpful practices or rituals
   There is no prescribed method for traversing liminal space. Experimenting is helpful. Here is a brief list: meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, creative pursuits such as painting, cooking, gardening, reading about other people’s experiences navigating change, physical movement, learning something new, connectivity to your sense of the Divine, talking regularly with a friend, seeking out mentorship or guidance, adopting a cleansing diet, setting daily intentions, and so many more personal ways of engaging with your experience.

While these three steps won’t magically illuminate a clear path forward, they can potentially ground you during the journey. Rather than resisting and fighting against the uncertainty, let these steps help you live into your experience and allow you to reap some of the benefits (for another post) of this liminal time on the other side.

If you’re feeling particularly lost, I’d love to offer you a complimentary call and explore how coaching may be able to support you.